By Vera Chinonso Aliyu and Okereke Udoakpuenyitha, YeyeNews.com, October 9, 2021
A Nigerian lady, Harriet (real name withheld), just married, has refused to take up her husband’s name but instead insists her husband must change to her father’s name. This is coming as she and her husband are making arrangements to do a church and court marriage in order to secure legal documents.
A sister to Harriet’s husband confirmed to YeyeNews.com during a phone chat disclosed: “She wants my brother to commit an abomination. Where have you ever seen a man answering the name of his wife’s father? It doesn’t happen anywhere and its unfortunate that my brother’s wife is trying to force this on him.”
YeyeNews.com learned that Harriett and her husband got married less than six months ago in a glamorous traditional ceremony in Lagos Island. A friend of Harriet who spoke to YeyeNews.com said the wedding ceremony was attended by the who-is-who in the world of business in Nigeria. “The wedding was the talk of the town. Harriet’s father is a very wealthy businessman and she is the only child of her parents.”
A source close to Harriet’s father told YeyeNews.com reporter that Harriett’s father has no say in the matter but fully supports his daughters if that will make her happy: “My boss wants Harriet and her husband to have a happy married life devoid of secrets . My boss’s daughter is a goal-getter, she knows what she wants, she loves her husband but she is the apple of her father’s eyes, she loves her father dearly and wants his name to continue but the marriage cannot continue unless Harriet’s husband adopts her father’s name”.
He further explained that Harriet did not want to get married initially – she had wanted to have kids to bear her father’s name but her father had told her that it would make him happy to give her away in marriage and that was why she chose the man that became her husband, her university sweetheart.
When asked by YeyeNews.com about what will happen if Harriet’s husband does not accept the arrangement, the source shook his head vigorously before saying: “He has been given two choices now and he has refused both. If he continues to refuse this one, the marriage is over. I don’t think he really knows the amount of money involved here. If he does he will wear the name as a tag everywhere goes”..
“The first option was a version of the Japanese Option”, the source continued to narrate when YeyeNews.com asked about the “two choices” he mentioned. “In the Japanese Option, Harriet told him that she would bear his name but but hyphenated with her own surname and that if they had first male child, the child would bear her father’s full name, complete – that is like Junior of her father. The first girl would bear her father’s surname also. Then any other child bears her husband’s family name. He refused that offer.”
Meanwhile, Harriet’s husband has vowed not to bow to the pressure of changing his name to that of his wife’s family. “I cannot betray the memories of my ancestors because of the possibility of inheriting my father-in-law’s wealth. If I am not worthy of their respect as a man, then we must decide where to go from here. What they are asking of me is an abomination. I just can’t do it even if a part of me wanted to”, he told YeyeNews.com.
YeyeNews.com contacted one of Harriet’s university classmate and close friend. She laughed and said, “I love Harriet so much like my own sister, but sometimes she is crazy – and I don’t mean it a bad way. I know she loves this guy and I want them to reach a compromise. Her father is a very good man and it pains her that it looks like nobody will continue his name. I want the husband to understand where she is coming from.”
