YeyeNews is a global news organization. Our mission is very simple: To dig out the yeye once the news ends.
Our world headquarters is located in your head and that is how we know everything that goes on in everyone. If you have doubts, tell us to report about you. We are the “inside” in insider reporting. Our Lagos operation is based along Lagos-Ibadan Expressway right next to Winners’ Chapel Church, which is close to Redeemed Christian Church of God, which is opposite Lagos-Ibadan Express Mosque; our eastern operation is right inside Okija shrine; our Niger Delta operation is based in Port-Harcourt right inside Slaughter River, a river made soot-black and greasy by oil pollution caused by the oil companies; and our northern operation is from the old Groundnut Pyramid Market in Kano.
In Nigeria, we have correspondents in Aso Rock, Zuma Rock, and the other man-made rock called the National Assembly where humans go to become rocks so to die emotionally; in Europe, we have correspondents in London’s Piccadilly Circuit, Paris’s Eiffel Tower; in the Americas, we have correspondents in New York’s Red Zone, in the favelas and Amazons of Brazil, in the jungles in Peru and El-Salvador; our man in Red Square Moscow and our woman at China’s Grand Forbidden City complex in Beijing are twins. Working together, we make the news for you.
CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera, and others all envy us for our versatility and vitality and our ability to get to the news wherever in the world it is breaking. New York Times and London Evening News have a ten-year plan to be like us. We hope you will visit us again and again. If you don’t, we will visit you. And we may just stay and stay and stay until you get up and visit us. Forget about that last part, for we are in your head already.
We dictate the news. It is no news if we do not know about it. You should not read it if we did not report it. We are the “s” in the ‘news’. Remove “s” and tell us what it is. It is ‘new’ and ‘new’ is not ‘news’. Yeye is equal to “s”. We did the mathematics. We know the answer:
We make the news.
